Nirnbook
by The Respectable Pureblood
Summary: Witness the biggest magical invention since... magic! Social-networking scrolls to keep you abreast of news and in contact with your friends! If Skyrim had Facebook. Inboxes, statuses and more! Crack. Range of characters posting. Other weird bits. Try?


**Title: **Nirnbook

**Summary: **Witness the biggest magical invention since... magic! Social-networking scrolls to keep you abreast of news and in contact with your friends! If Skyrim had their own social site. Inboxes, statuses and more! Crack. Range of characters posting. Other weird bits. Try?

**Rating and Warnings: **T for v. occasional swearing

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Skyrim. Whatever! Neither do you! Nyeh!

**A/n: **Every time I try to write a serious fanfiction... Every god-damn time. Stupid stuff just gets written! So, not to be taken seriously of course. Made it to wile away my boredom. If you also read Love you Madly, I'm editing/re-writing bits of the next chapter at the moment. Enjoy? Review? Suggest? Ta.

* * *

Sulys Ravel has checked in at_ **Bruma**. 11:02 am._

**o**

**Sulys Ravel** says: Got a good feeling about Skyrim. Leave for Helgen tomorrow! _11:05 am._  
**_Ma Ravel_**_ likes this. 5 comments._

Ma Ravel: Did you pack your coat? It's cold in Skyrim, dear... x _11:07 am._

Sulys Ravel: _Yes _mother... _11:07am._

Ma Ravel: Liar! It's still here by the door where you left it! If you catch your death of cold in Skyrim it'll be your own fault! Why did I even make you one if you aren't even going to wear it! _11:12 am._

Sulys Ravel: Divines, stop posting on my Nirnbook mother ! It's embarrassing! _11:13 am._

Ma Ravel: Embarassing? You don't have any friends I could embarrass you in front of in the first place! _11:16 am._

**o**

Sulys Ravel says: Bloody freezing on this cart. _11:45 _am.  
_1 comment._

Ma Ravel: I told you so. _11:52 am._

* * *

_Ulfric Stormcloak has created his Nirnbook Account_.

_Ulfric Stormcloak is now friends with_ **Galmar Stone-Fist**, **Ralof**, **Spius Secretus **_and several others._

_Ulfric Stormcloak has changed his occupation to: _The True High King.

_Ulfric Stormcloak has changed his location to:_ Palace of Kings, Windhelm.

_Ulfric Stormcloak has created the Nirnbook page _**Stormcloak Army**.

_Ulfric Stormcloak has created the event _**Important Business at Skyrim Border** : **_Spius Secretus_**_ likes this._

_Ulfric Stormcloak changed _**Stormcloak Army's**_profile picture._

**o**

Ulfric Stormcloak says: General Tullius keeps trying to add me on Nirnbook. Awkward. _11:00 am.  
_**_Galmar Stone-Fist_**_ likes this._ _3_ _Comments._

Galmar Stone-Fist: LMAO _11:05 am._

Ulfric Stormcloak: LMAO...? _11:05 am._

Galmar Stone-Fist: Laugh My Armour Off. _11:06 am.  
_**_Ulfric Stormcloak_**_ and four others like this._

* * *

**Ralof** posted on **Stormcloak Army's** wall:

Honoured to be a part of Jarl Ulfric's travelling party! Can't wait to go and give those Imperial dogs hell!

**_Galmar Stone-Fist_**_,** Gunjar** and seven others like this._

**o**

**Gerdur** posted on **Ralof's** wall:

Be careful.

* * *

**Galmar Stone-Fist** messaged **Ulfric Stormcloak** at _11:54 am._

You're men are ready for you, Ulfric. But might I make a suggestion? I don't think you should make an event for a secret operation. The Imperials have spies everywhere, you know this.

**o**

**Ulfric Stormcloak** messaged **Galmar Stone-Fist** at _11:58 am._

You're being paranoid friend. I'm not friends with any Imperial spies on my Nirnbook, and I declined that dog Tullius' friend request twice in a row! It's just a simple operation, of course. What's the worst that could happen?

* * *

**Spius Secretus **messaged **General Tullius **at _11:00 am._

My General, Ulfric Stormcloak leaves for the Skyrim border in an hour's time. I believe that you can intercept their return, just a few hours from Helgen. It would be the perfect setting for an ambush. xox

* * *

**Sulys Ravel **says: Wow Skyrim is beautiful! So to all who tried to dissuade me, take that! _03:10 pm._

* * *

Ulfric Stormcloak says: Galmar U WER RIGH..t AMBUSH... _03:27 pm.  
_**_Spius Secretus _**_likes this. 1 comment_

Galmar Stone-Fist: Ulfric! I told you so! Why didn't you post your location, you idiot! _03:32 pm._

**o**

Galmar Stone-Fist says: Shit! _03:33 pm._

* * *

Imperial Soldier #1 says: Ambush went well. Just knocked out some Dunmer guy! LOL. _03:30 pm.  
_**_Imperial Soldier #2_**_, **The Imperial Legion Club **and seven others like this. Two comments._

General Tullius: Stop posting on your Nirnbook and get those prisoners in the cart, soldier. _03:35 pm_

Imperial Soldier #1: Yes sir. Sorry sir... :( _03:37 pm._

* * *

_Elenwen has created her Nirnbook Account_

_Elenwen has joined the group **Thalmor Embassy**_

_No one has posted on **Elenwen's **wall. Be the first!_

Elenwen has _no_ friends. Be the first! Click _here _to suggest a friend.

* * *

_Imperial Soldier #3 has changed their relationship status to **it's complicated **with **Stormcloak Soldier #5**_

* * *

**Comments adored.**


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